the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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