We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
