I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
