Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
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Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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