Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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