love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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