We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
