I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
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Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
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He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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