I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize