Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize