I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
