Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize