smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
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she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
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I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
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