is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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