his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize