porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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