i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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