You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
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