Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
