So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
