white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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