ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
