And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
