Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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