I'm lost and stupid without you.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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