Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
