They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
