You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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