Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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