If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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