She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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