I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
