My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
