The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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