I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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