did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
