shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Everything about him screamed your future.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
