It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
