dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize