He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
