I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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