So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
