is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
that is very illegal...i love you.
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