Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
