I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
