the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
