Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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