im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Randomize
