If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
