i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
