Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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