Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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