I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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