my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
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Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
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We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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